Out of Egypt-June 9, 2006

Hello All,

Tomorrow when we travel to the Palace of Montazah (a former King), will mark the end of the tours. We will have the rest of the day and Monday off to pack and get ready to leave on Tuesday. I'm back at work on Wednesday.

Today, once again, we had great weather. We went to a Museum, the Catacombs, and the Library of Alexandria (it was amazing). It is interesting experiencing the differences in the weather in Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt. I don't know how the people work and labor in the heat of Upper Egypt. From my humble perspective, they are the poorest and the ones in the most need of cool weather. Nevertheless, their bodies have adjusted to the heat. In Cairo one of the things they do to help prevent having heat strokes occurs during the hottest time of the day--2:00-6:00pm. That's when they close up shop. That's right, no work is done. It's sort of like a Mexican Siesta.

While the trip has been absolutely fabulous, I am ready to return home. There is indeed no place like home. Being here has really helped me appreciate so many aspects of my life. Particularly, my family, my freedoms (so many of which we take for granted), like toilet paper in bathrooms, ice, air conditioning, traffic signals, and being an independent working woman. Each day I will try to live in appreciation of these freedoms.

The education, both theological and spiritual has been invaluable. I have also had to do some serious soul searching concerning who I am as an African American woman and what kind of legacy I want to leave to the world.

I think I am on the right path even though that path definitely contains a few slopes and valleys, and curves. You see I'm not at all confused about who I am. I realize there is still a lot of inner work that I have to do. God is still doing a number on me--teaching, loving, pruning, forgiving, and preparing me to serve. The process is often painful and even confusing. Sometimes I feel so many thoughts and emotions and many of which I can't readily identify the origin or why I feel a certain way about things I've learned. However, I'm learning to be patient and when the time is right, it will all make sense.

At least, that's how it has been in my life so far.

Thanks so much to all of you for being patient with me through this journaling process. Having you to write to made keeping up with this assignment so much easier--and I looked forward each day to writing to you.

Blessings to you all,

Out of Egypt-June 8, 2006

Well, we're in Alexandria.

The weather is beautiful and my hotel room overlooks the Mediterranean Sea.

This region of African is quite different from the Northern areas such as Luxor and Aswan. There are marked economic and racial differences. The people from the North are darker, rural, and are your farmers and what we would call "blue collar" workers. Here in the Southern section, it is more urban and I see more white collar workers. In the North, we rarely saw women working, in fact, 90% of the people seen on the street, or working in stores, restaurants, museums, for the airline, and even in hotels, were men. But here in Alexandria, women are a large part of the work force, granted, they are still outnumbered by men, but they seem to have more freedom in that area.

Hopeful tomorrow, we will hear from some of the indigenous people to give us their perspective on the city. We will also hear from an African American Biblical Scholar who specializes in Greco-Roman and Africa's Influence on the Bible.

Oh by the way, last week I facilitated a session with 3 of my colleagues on Gender in Egypt, specifically, my topic was Ancient Egyptian Sexuality and Gender-, some of the other topics were on Gender and Economics, and Biblical Interpretation, we explored these issues from the perspective of--Feminist-Womanist-and Post Colonial Feminist Interpretations. My professor said we did her proud. It was really interesting and generated a lot of intelligent and insightful dialogue between all of the students and professors.

Well so long for now, I'm going to take a nap!

Blessings,

Out of Egypt-June 7, 2006

Hello All,

I think I'm getting my days mixed up. I thought today was June 8th but the Office Manager at the Hotel Business Office just informed me that it's the 7th of June. I guess that's what happens when there is an 8 hour time difference and the temperature is 130 degrees...that's what it was today!

This week we are in Luxor--tomorrow we fly to the North African City of Alexandria. I'm really looking forward to it. Some of you Biblical Scholars may be familiar with church theologians such as Tertullian and Augustine, well, they were from Alexandria. Also, I've done quite a bit of study on a couple of women martyrs...Perpetua and Felicitas, who were also from Alexandria. Being able to actually visit this city is icing on the cake.

You know gang, I forgot to tell you all about two sites we visited on the first day we were in Cairo.

First, we visited a church called 'The Church of the Holy Family." It is believed this was the place Mary and Joseph fled with Jesus when Pilate was after him.

Inside the church--in the basement, there is a room called the Crypt of the Holy Family. This place is considered sacred and not many people are allowed inside--it is the actual location where they hid from Pilate. Well wouldn't you know the day of our visit--May 30th, was the actual day they believed Jesus arrived with his parents in Cairo, consequently they were having a worship service at the church on the day we were there.

After the service, our group of 23 Seminarians, Scholars, and Theologians were allowed to visit the Crypt. Talk about walking on Holy Ground!! Our tour guide told us that in his 12 years of taking groups to this particular church, we were the first group they have allowed inside the Crypt.

The second place we visit was the Ben-Ezra Jewish Synagogue. This site was built over the place where the baby Moses ended up after his sister sent him down river to escape Pharaohs edict...and where the daughter of Pharaoh drew him out of the water.

So as you can see or shall I say, "as you can read" I've had the unique opportunity to now have mental pictures when I read, study, teach, and preach about some of the biblical narratives, particularly, those occurring in Egypt.

Blessings,

P.S. Oh, I almost forgot, today we had to have a Police escort to Abydos where we visited the Temple of Isis. The reason for the Police escort was that several years ago some tourists were murdered leaving Luxor, so now, whenever a tour group leaves Luxor to visit one of the surrounding cities on a tour, it has to be done by Police escort.

One thing happened that was really funny. I left the group to go to the bathroom, and decided to go to an internet cafe and then return to the bus, well, I was escorted by an Armed Police officer--he didn't go to the bathroom with me, but he sat down right behind me while I checked e-mails and then walked me back to the bus...so I guess I'm well protected.

Peace

Out of Egypt-June 6, 2006

Hello All,

Each day is a Beginning--a New Birth of Sorts.

This sentiment became quite real to me after we left the Temple of _________, (OK, I can't remember the name of the Temple right now).

The Ancient Egyptians believed that the Sky was a woman who gives birth. Let me explain.

The goddess Nut is believed to cover the sky from end to end. In fact, she is depicted bending over the sky with her hands touching the North and South ends of the earth. Each night it was believed that when the sun went down, the goddess was swallowing the sun. All through the night it traveled down her throat through her stomach and in the morning when the sun rose, she was giving birth to a new Sun...a new day. Note...(in the summer months, it usually gets dark around 9pm--the sun rises around 6am=9 hours or 9 months). The goddess in this metaphor wore a blue dress covered with stars...it was a beautiful sight (see the attachment).

What is even more beautiful to me, is to think of each day as a new birth...a new life...old things passed away. It is an opportunity to start fresh, to discover anew God's world, God's purposes and to use that day to bring glory and honor to God in response to all that God has done the previous day.

My challenge to myself is to begin each day as a new birth, a new opportunity to discover, to love, to heal, to play, to be a friend, to forgive, and to learn.

Blessings,

Out of Egypt-June 5, 2006

Hello all,

Aside from almost passing out from heat exhaustion today...we had an interesting day of visiting Abu Sambul—The Valley of the Kings and Queens. The temperature in the Valley got as high as 130 degrees today. There is no shade, no trees, and no water...you MUST bring your own!!

Thanks Carolyn for giving me the advice about carrying my own tissue. When you go into a public bathroom, women are waiting to give you toilet tissue for a fee...there is no tissue in the bathrooms...if you don't pay, or bring your own, you're SOL.

Now back to the Valley of the Kings...there are also 4 women Queens buried in the Valley of the Kings--Queen Tiye (T), Queen Hatchepsut, and the Queen Sipta, and the other one, I don't remember.

While in the Valley we went to the tomb of King Tut, Rameses I, Rameses III, and Queen Hatchepsut. Of course I want to talk about the Queen! Particularly because this woman coined the term DIVA...she was a bad girl and a Pharoah.

Aside from her Temple being the most magnificent in the valley because it broke all rules of architecture in her day, it had three levels and all other temples were just one level. Her tomb was restored but it took 43 years to do it...it was only completed last year.

During her reign she organized a journey to Kenya, Ethiopia, and Somalia.

The bad news for this Diva was that she acquired her the throne illegally. Her nephew was really supposed to be King but when he was very young, he came up missing for 21 years. It is believed that she kidnapped him and kept him locked away so she could be Queen. Once he was free, guess what happened--Queen H came up missing, never to be seen of again. Although she had the most magnificent and massive temple, her remains were not there. In fact, her nephew made it his mission in life to erase her name (remember what I told you guys about a Name) from all of Egypt, including from her own Temple. He would have been successful had it not been for her friend Rameses I who restored her name on several key pieces of architecture. Also, the foundation of the temple which was underground--had her name on it as well.

The moral of this story is "Whatsoever we sow, that we shall also reap." Yes, we remember the Queen, but her name is shrouded in negativity. Yes, she accomplished many great feats, but she stole someone else’s birthright and her consequence was she would never have the honor of being memorialized in her own temple.

Blessings,

Out of Egypt-June 3, 2006

Hello All,

It is really helping me so much to be able to write my journal entries and then get feedback from many of you. It is helping me process the magnitude of feelings and emotions and thoughts about the experience. Thank you.

Yesterday we went to a place called Abu Sambul--it is an island near Nubia. In fact, Nubians aka Cushites, live here. To see people who look like me and my colleagues was exciting. When we got off the tour bus, people were saying,"Hey Cousin"--it was mind blowing!

The reason we went to Abu Sambul was to see the Temple of Rameses II and his wife Nefertari. I can't wait to show you the pictures. Rameses was a Narcissist--at the entrance of his temple were 4 statues of himself 7 stories high. I don't know if you all know this, but the Pharoah's and their subjects--considered them gods. There was one section of hieroglyphics that showed Rameses bowing down to himself. Hmmm, can I get a sermon out of that one?

So many of our rulers and even church leaders, do the exact same thing, only they are not as audacious as Rameses to admit it. This applies not only to certain rulers and church leaders, but all of us have a tendency to elevate ourselves--get full of ourselves, and believe that the world centers on, and revolves around us. We do this when we fail to take into account other perspectives and other voices. We bow down and worship ourselves when we think our knowledge of a thing is the ultimate and only perspective. We bow down and worship ourselves when we live as if no one can tell us anything new...we know all we need to know about God, Christ, the Holy Spirit and the Church.

We bow down to ourselves when we fail to be open to God's leading and the possibility of divine revelation that might contradict our long standing embedded theology.

Whew, Sermon Over! Especially since I'm in an Internet Cafe in Komombo with no air conditioning and I know it's 115 degrees.

Oh, I must have forgotten to mention that we arrived at Komombo on a Cruise ship down the Nile River.

Blessings,

Out of Egypt-June 1, 2006

Hello my friends,

My colleagues and I didn't go to the Valley of the Kings yesterday as I had thought. That trip is scheduled for later on during our stay. We did however travel to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, and Memphis--the first capital of Egypt. While in Memphis we had the opportunity to see the statue of Ramses the II. We also went to his tomb and the tomb of his wife, my new favorite North African Queen-Nefertari (not to be confused with Nefertiti--the wife of King Akhenaten). Seeing the "handwriting on the wall" in these tombs was a most magnificent experience. These pictures will be hard to get out of my mind, especially when I read the Scriptures, particularly, the Hebrew Bible. When I read of Kings, the Pharaohs, and Queens--the images in my mind will now be quite different.

Another interesting piece that impacted me is this:

Egyptians believed and still believe that human beings are comprised of a Soul, a Body, a Spirit, and a NAME! That's right; they believe that along with your soul, your name lives on eternally. In fact, when they buried Kings and Queens, they placed on their Sarcophagus in a sort of oval shaped symbol, their name. Throughout their tombs as well, their names were written among all the other writings. This was done so that once their souls entered the afterlife--they would be known. On the flip side of this, if you were perceived as a Bad King or Queen and the people didn't respect you or value how you led them, once you died, they would either remove your name from your Sarcophagus or not include it at all. This was in fact done to King Akhenaten. He advocated Monotheism, which ticked off some of the Egyptians.

So Irie, what's the point. Here it is...Our names matter! Our names carry weight. Our actions and the manner in which we live--our values, what we stand or fall for, all determine how our names will be remembered. Will people remember our names, if so, for what will we be remembered? What do our literal names mean?

In the Egyptian alphabet, each letter of the alphabet has a particular meaning. In particular, the first letter of a persons name tells something about who that person is and what they ought to stand for if they are being their truest selves. For example, the 'I' in Irie means Justice and Fairness. For those of you who know me, do your think that is a fair description of who I am and what I stand for?

Yesterday was a wonderful day.

As you can see, I am a day behind in my journal writing because I have to give my mind time to marinate and synthesize my thoughts with my experiences.

Blessings,

Out of Egypt

Hello All,
What follows are journal entries from my trip to Egypt. They begin on May 30, 2006. I hope you enjoy.

May 30, 2006

Right now I am in an Internet Cafe in Cairo.

Each of us travelers (seminary students, graduates, and professors) must keep an "integrative journal" recording our experiences in Egypt. While I do have a journal, I seem to write better and faster on the computer. Therefore, since I didn't bring my laptop (I would have had to purchase a converter--because the plugs are different here and those from the U.S.A. don't fit), I will write mine via e-mail and send them to myself and others.

However, my thoughts for today--I want to share with you, particularly with my "special ladies" from New Friends New Life--so Lauri, please pass this along during the "Dinner Hour" on Wednesday evening. By the way--right now it is 8:25pm in Cairo and 12:30pm in Dallas.

Today the group journeyed to the Cairo Museum. There were many sites to see, in fact, this is the 3rd largest Museum in the World. It contains over 118, 000 relics and artifacts. Our tour guide Tarik--a reeeaaal cutie pie, wth a Masters in Archaeology. Anyhoo--let me stop thinking about Tarik and get back to business.

While I saw many incredible relics, what I want to write about is not one of them, at least not tonight. What really captured my heart and thoughts, was a couple, walking in the museum. Actually, it was a couple with their two daughters. They were Egyptians. Let me paint the picture for you.

The husband was dressed as any man you might see in America. He had on a pair of baggy jeans--yes, I think he may have even been "sagging." He also had on a regular button down shirt--with the first couple of buttons open--revealing his chest. And he wore sandals showing off all ten of his toes--you may not think that bit of info is relevant, but just wait.

On the other hand, we have his wife. This elusive woman wore all black, from head to toe...not even her toes were showing. Since today is our first day, I'm not sure of the actual name of the garment, but I will know by tomorrow. Looking at the woman was difficult. Not because she was ugly or anything like that, but because you virtually could not see her...only her eyes.

As I began contemplating what I thought and felt about this, I thought to myself...Woman in black, who are you? Who was she? As if her identity could only be captured or understood in light of what the eyes could see. I began thinking of her as a "voiceless, invisible woman. Who is she--where is she--what does she look like?

Then my mind sort of shifted. I then said to myself, her husband knows who she is, her family knows who she is, and most likely, she has friends, girlfriends, who also know who she is and what she looks like. Wow, that line of thinking was revelatory for me! There are people who know this woman...we, that is--the general public, just "don't get to see her."

Hmmm, "We don't get to see her"--that thought was also revelatory. We don't get to see her--as in "seeing this woman" and knowing this woman -- is a privilege!!

Now, that's a different way of looking at this significant cultural difference. You see in America--everyone gets to see women--all of us--in reality, there is a commonness about American Women. Many of us have the tendency to live as though very little is sacred, or special about us. We show everything--at least, from a physical perspective. We show our legs, our arms, our faces, our backs, our thighs, and even our little, itty bitty ties.

We are seen--but not really, at least not for some of us. Our bodies are seen, but often we are not taken seriously for that very reason.

What I want me and my sisters to understand, is that we ought to live our lives and conduct ourselves with this thought in mind--"It is a privilege to see, feel, hear, touch, and yes, taste us." Plant this thought in your souls...in your spirits. Live as though you believe--you are special, every single part of your being. You are more than what the eye can see. And, yet, be careful to leave a little something to the imagination!

I love you all dearly,

P.S. Tomorrow, we travel to the Valley of the Kings...where today it was 125 degrees. Pray for a sistah!

Woman, Behold Thy Son

On April 14, 2006--Good Friday I had the opportunity to preach one of the Seven Last Words of Jesus (The Third Word). The service was held at Bonnieview Christian Church in Dallas, Texas. I must admit, I was a bit intimidated being the ONLY woman preaching, but I was thankful and blessed by the opportunity to share my particular perspective. Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Introduction:
What do we call a woman who’s child is about to die? Is there a name for such a predicament? When the child dies, how will we refer to her? How will she self-identify? What word expresses her emptiness and pain? Now, we know what to call a child who’s parents have died…they are orphans. Our English language has a word that illustrates the state of being of a woman who’s husband has died…she’s a widow. And a man who’s lost his wife…is a widower. There’s even a word that reflects the damage done to a person whose personal property has been stolen…they’re called victims.

But for a mother…the one who bears the burden of nine months of weight gain, swollen legs, back aches. A mother, the one who goes through the valley of the shadow of death to bring new life into this world…when her child dies…the human language is inadequate. You see, there is no word in the English language for a woman whose child has died. There is only silence.

Mary Was Voiceless
Oh yes, she has wailed, she has moaned, and cried out in agony over the injustice meted out to her son. But now, here at the foot of the cross—she stands, only watching her oldest son hanging between the twilight of two worlds. She’s standing. Her eyes—focused on his blood-drenched tunic—the one she made for him as a special gift.
Mary is silent. Her despair is almost suffocating, she wants to say something—Just to let him know how much she loves him—but no words come out of her mouth. She only watches, as sweat like heavy drops of rain, fall from his torn and battered body.
She’s listening—she hears him as a little boy running around playing and laughing with the other children. She hears him as he gets beside himself and says, “I must be about my father’s business.” She feels the gentle kisses on her cheek, as he leaves to go teach in the marketplace. Mary is standing near the cross.

Oh my God, how is she able to stand? Oh look! She’s not standing alone. She has her sisters by her side—her own sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. At the moment of Mary’s greatest despair—and heartache, she needed women by her side. Women who understood what it meant to love and lose a child.

Mary had such high hopes for Jesus—as most mother’s do. But now, here he is hanging on the cross, his blood soaked body reminds her that this is the end of her dreams for her son. He was dying, right before her very eyes…and so were her own dreams…even so, she’s standing near the cross.

Is there something that Mary is telling us? Is there some remnant of hope to be gleaned from Mary’s plight? Maybe, just maybe we too can stand. When all hell breaks loose in our lives, when our dreams turn into nightmares…we can still stand. When we’ve been rejected we can stand. When society tries to make us believe we’re the least, the last, and the left-behind, we can still stand.

Mary is telling us, if there is any hope for maintaining our sanity, we must stand, but not just anywhere--we’ve got to stand near the cross! Because only near the cross—the foot of the cross, that we can hear a Word from the Lord!


Mary Heard A Word
Out of the silence…there was a voice. “Dear Woman, here is your son.” Finally the silence was broken…Jesus speaks from the Cross. Jesus has a Word for his mother and his friend—John—the self-proclaimed “disciple that Jesus loved.” From the cross, Jesus is giving instructions. On the cross, Jesus is pondering, planning, and preparing. He is concerned about those he loves and those that love him. In the midst of his suffering—he moves himself out of the way, and draws his mother and John into the spotlight.

What a lesson for us. Most of us, when all is well with our souls…find it difficult to take a back seat and put others first. Our agenda is the only agenda that matters…what we want is preeminent. Our pain is the only pain. We are so self-centered. But on the Cross—Jesus has compassion for the hurting—for the voiceless…for those in despair…for the grieving. Jesus calls his mother out of the shadow of the cross—Woman, here is your son.

Why did Jesus call her Woman? She was his mother…not just a Woman. In fact, the word he uses is gyne—and typically refers to a bride or wife. She wasn’t his bride or his wife—yes, she had been someone’s wife—Jospeh’s, but Joseph is not here…so why gyne? The most appropriate word would have been Meter—the word for Mother, a word that suggests a relationship. What was Jesus trying to communicate to Mary? Why did he use such an impersonal and detached word as gyne?

Listen, I believe Jesus was telling Mary, “You have got to let me go!” I can imagine Jesus telling Mary, “Don’t you remember the promise God made to you through the angel Gabriel?” “You will be with Child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his house will never end.”

Jesus wanted Mary to understand that that day was here…Jesus knew she couldn’t see it!—she was blinded by grief. Mary must have felt as though she been tricked, lied to and deceived by God…but God is not a man that lies. And so, Jesus called her Woman, because she must move on! She had spent a lot of time with Jesus. Directing much of her attention to him and his ministry, often neglecting her own needs as well as those of the other children …perhaps that was a reason none of the other children were at the cross holding up their mother.

It was now time for Mary to get on with living…Jesus was calling her to another purpose. You see, God never closes one door without opening another. There are always more opportunities to serve in God’s family. Just because one chapter of your life has ended that doesn’t mean it’s time to sit down! Just because it didn’t work out at First St. John Church of God in Christ, doesn’t mean your ministry career is over!! See what other congregations need a pastor. Investigate serving in another area of ministry…but for God’s sake…do something!! My God, there is never a dearth of ministry opportunities in the Kingdom. But sometimes we need others to direct our attention to where the needs are. Jesus was redirecting Mary to where the needs were. John needed a mother…someone to care for him, listen to him, help him in his ministry… I know John wasn’t considered family through blood lines, but he was family, through love lines. He loved Jesus, he followed him, he stayed with him to the bitter end! That’s what really matters. Mary needed another son—she needed a family that would build her up and help her to feel useful once again.

We all need to be cared for and to care for others. That is the message of the Cross…that is the reason Jesus endured such excruciating agony. Loving and caring for all God’s creation was what was most important to Jesus. So important that it was one of the last words he spoke. “Dear Woman, here is your son, and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.”

Ordination is Becoming a Reality

On September 12th, I had my first ordination interview with the Christian Church/Disciples of Christ. I must admit, I was rather nervous, not knowing much about the ordination process. What I learned, was that each person applying for ordination is assigned a committee who will meet with them on three occasions. Each time the committee meets with the candidate, they ask a series of theological and pastoral type questions designed to challenge and ascertain the persons gifts and aptitude for pastoral ministry.

From what I understand from other Disciples who have already gone through the process, the last interview is the most difficult. My second interview will take place in April 2006, with the final interview (supposing all goes well) will be January 2007, with ordination to follow some time afterwards.

With that said, my committee consisted of four of the most affirming and insightful people that I've ever met. One of whom is a professor at Brite Divinity School, where I attend. They asked me several questions about my decision to affiliate with the Disciples, and understood about the limitations for professional ministry for women in churches of Christ. They welcomed me to the Disciples family.

During this interview my committee affirmed my gifts for ministry, encouraged me to continue developing my preaching skills, and emphasized the importance of taking time for myself. They confirmed what I already knew--that I need to be spiritually and emotionally nurtered. I have since joined "Daughters of Thunder" a ministry designed to offer support, enrichment, and nurture to African American Women preachers, pastors and seminary students. I attended my first group, Saturday September 24th. It was a wonderful experience.

It has been three years since my seminary career began and what I consider to be the second phase of my life. It has been an amazing journey, surprising even me.

"I wouldn't take nothing, for my journey!"

Feelin a Bit Like Harriet Baker

Those having occasion to read this post may wonder, "who is Harriet Baker?"

Harriet Baker was once a well-known late-nineteenth century AME preacher.

Like many of her forerunners(Amanda Berry Smith, and Julia Foote), Harriet struggled to answer her call to preach, and experienced bitter opposition from her husband, church, friends, and relatives. Yet, she ultimately triumphed in her pursuit of full-time ministry and in her call to preach the Gospel of Christ.

Due to her public announcement...that she had been "called to preach," Harriet was verbally abused by her Bible class leader and was told to leave the church. However, she was determined that she had received "Divine commission" to preach the Gospel. Although the church held an open discussion about her announcement, she would not leave, for she had made a "solemn covenant" with God to hold fast to her decision. Several years later, around 1874 or 1875, the church authorized her to preach. Even though it was many years after her call that she was ordained and validated by her denomination to preach, she persevered, and God opened the hearts of the male ministers to receive her call as authentic.

Some 130 years later, in Churches of Christ, particularly, the African American church, women are still challenged by not feeling free to answer the call to preach. Yet we persevere.

It is in this way, that I feel "a bit like Harriet".

For many years, even while in seminary pursuing my Masters of Divinity (one of the highest theological degrees for persons pursuing professional ministry), I was uncomfortable with accepting the notion that it just might be possible that God had called me to preach and pastor. My denominations(although presently affiliated with the Christian Church/Disciples of Christ, I still honor my Church of Christ roots) stance on women's roles in the church is partially the reason for my apprehension. However, just recently and despite the prevailing viewpoint of the unspoken leaders in Churches of Christ, I made the decision to say "yes" to God. Since making that decision, I have been consistently pleasantly surprised, and awed by the movement of God.

In fact, this past weekend represented one of those surprising movements of God. You see, I attended an event that was exclusivley for male preachers. I was not invited by the conference conveners, however, the worship leader who happend to be a long time friend, insisted that I attend. And so I did.

Upon my arrival, I must admit I had anxiety. Unsure as to how the "brothers" would respond to me "crashing the party" so to speak, I was open to whatever was to come. To my surprise, I was received well. In fact, several of the brothers, including the conference conveners, expressed being happy that I was participating.

The next day I attended worship service where many of the ministers were also attending. When all preachers were requested to stand, I stood right along with them and was acknowledged as being in ministry. It was also announced during this service that at next years conference, I would be preaching on..."the Gender Issue."

One of the ministers said something to me I shall not soon forget, he said, "God has prepared us for you."

Thank you God for opening yet another door so that your people may know you, and the love that you have for all your creation.

Are You Ready...To Be Crucified?

Today was a glorious day in the Lord. The sermon went well, I believe God was glorified and the people heard a Word from the Lord. My sermon title was "Are You Ready...To Be Crucified. Below is an excerpt from that sermon.

In Matthew 16:21-24 Jesus is preparing his disciples for what was to come. What he is telling them should not come as a surprise to them, especially since they have already confessed him to be the Messiah in verse 15. However, Peter’s response reveals that Jesus disciples still did not get it--Jesus was going to be killed. The disciples were expecting so much more from their Messiah. They anticipated a warrior. Their Messiah would right all the political, economic, and social wrongs they had suffered. They were expecting a King in all his glory and majesty. They were not expecting the death of their Messiah.

That’s the way some of us think as well. We think because we’re Christians-Jesus disciples, God is going to make everything all right--and to us all right means, just the way we like it—to our satisfaction, on our timetable. I know that’s what some of us think, because when it doesn’t happen the way we like it—we pout, we get angry, we ask the question, why me? We don’t expect suffering. Wouldn’t that just be wonderful, Christianity without suffering, or better still--pain free Christianity? That’s what Jesus disciples wanted. That’s what they thought they were in line for—pain free, pie in the sky Christianity.

But Jesus messed them up— with the Cross!

Have you ever just been messed up? You think you’ve got it all straight in your mind and someone comes along and messes up YOUR agenda. Jesus has come to do exactly that-- mess up our agenda’s with—the Cross.

When Jesus spoke of a "cross," He was speaking of something the people around him were acquainted with since capital punishment, which was done in public, was a common means of execution at that time. In Jesus day, condemned people were forced to carry their own cross to the place of execution. They would then be nailed to it, and die upon it, while crowds watched. Another way Jesus could have asked the question is "If anyone wishes to come after me, let them be prepared to be led out to public execution, following my example." Dietrich Bonhoeffer a noted theologian who was also instrumental in shaping Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.s theology of suffering, put it this way, “when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”

As a result, I’m convinced that over the years, this phrase has been watered down to mean something less than Jesus originally intended. I have come to realize that taking up our cross as Christians, has everything to do with how we choose to live our lives. Our lives are inextricably connected to Purpose—Everything that has occurred in our lives--the good, the bad, and the ugly--God will use to fulfill his purposes. Our purpose in life always has to do with two things—Giving Glory to God and offering compassionate service to others.

Just my Imagination

Today I am preparing to preach my first official sermon. I guess you could call it my "inaugural sermon." What makes this so exciting and yet, anxiety producing, is that I am preaching during Sunday Morning Worship Service at Destiny Worhsip Center Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), in Cedar Hill, Texas. What is even more amazing is that I serve that fine church as their Assistant Pastor.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself preaching during Sunday morning worship services. Well, now that's not altogether true. In fact, that is exactly what I have done over the years...Imagine.

I can recall sitting in my pew, listening to various male preachers and begin thinking, If I were preaching that sermon, I would have said this or that" Or, if I were preaching I would have approached that subject this way." All I have been able to do is "imagine."

I guess I allowed myself to imagine because the powers that be in my denomination, couldn't censor or reprimand my imagination. Imagining was all that was available to me--a woman with aspirations of being in full-time ministry. Because of these limitations, my minsterial aspirations involved teaching women, and working in various Outreach Ministries of the church, but never the Pulpit.

Even as a Seminary student, I decided upon graduating in May 2006 with my MDiv, that I would pursue PhD studies instead of a DMin. My reasoning for this choice was that in my denomination, the only persons (except for one woman who worked at a University) who held the DMin. degree were men serving as full-time preachers and pastors. Therefore, I needed to restrict my studies to teaching at the University or Seminary level, and continue my work with women and outreach ministries.

While there is nothing wrong with ministering to women or serving in outreach ministries, in fact, that is still the largest part of my ministerial functions. However, if God desires to expand the borders of my life into preaching the Word to the entire Body of Christ, for me to refuse, would be an act of disobedience.

And so, here I am in July 2005, an Assistant Pastor in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), who could have imagined that, certainly not me.

But God, knows the plans that God has for me.

I simply want to walk through any and all doors that God opens, even if on the other side, something new and different awaits me. For I am assured that if God is there, all will be well.